Oh What A Feeling...

I have now been initiated into the world of bidets. This is the bidet my sister has installed in her house.

Here's it off:

Here's it on:
Here's me squatting over it (with pants on):

Sorry, I ran out of space on my camera phone to take actual "action" shots.

I must say, the first time was quite an experience.

When facing the wall, the hot water faucet is on the left (the second picture shows the hot water on and the watter bubbling up).

So I ask my sister and brother-in-law, "So... how does this work?". They say something to the effect of "Just turn on the water and let it wash down there". Simple enough. No problem. I've been to college. I can't turn down this opportunity (-ahem- Ronin). Unfortunately, I wasn't ready to have a BM to fully test the cleansing power, so I just tried it.

I figured I'd face the wall so I can control the faucets. I drop trou and then realize I have to "remove" them to straddle this thing. OK, fine. Now I'm hovering over it (not allowing my thighs to touch the bowl). Here comes the moment of truth. I turn on the hot water faucet so that the water can warm up and... the FREAKIN' water is already HOT! I give out a "aieee!" because the "boys" down there are sensitive. I switch off the hot and turn on the cold. Another "aieee!" because the cold water bubbled up higher than the hot water. After a bit, I work out a good water temp and we're off to the races. Those leftover dingleberries didn't stand a chance. I was cleaned off in no time. I grabbed some TP, dried off and went downstairs walking like John Wayne.

My bro-in-law then asks me if I used the soap to get things extra squeaky clean. I told him the rinse was good enough for me. I mentioned to my sister that my quads were a bit tired, and she said I should actually sit on the bowl, not hover over it. She also said it's better to run the water first, test the temperature, then sit down facing forward (not to the wall). She tells me this "after" my experience.

Yesterday I told my co-worker about me using the bidet for the first time and he said they used it all the time in Yemen when he was growing up. He said he remembers coming to the US and thinking "They just wipe here? How gross."

Overall, I found it wasn't so bad. However, the next time I go to my sister's I hope I remember to have a carne asada burrito first so I can really use this thing.

So I'm with The Child and see this engineering news magazine I get from UCSD lying on the bed. On a lark, I tell her I wonder if anyone I know is in the back section where they usually list past grads. I then see this entry (I used "John Doe" to protect his real name):

1991 John Doe
B.S. Electrical and Computer Engineering
John Doe is a research scientist at VoiceSignal Technologies, a Boston-area company developing speech recognition and speech-to-text solutions for mobile devices.

I sort of remember this guy when I was in school. I'm glad he's found a career on the east coast. Maybe I'll see him again the next time he visits the west coast. Then I looked at the year again and found it amazing that it was 15 years ago. Yikes, time flies.

Today The Child went back to school. I get to have my 1 mile walk in the morning taking TC to school. However, now I've got to deal with waking up early again and getting TC ready for school. Oh well, such is the life of a father.

TC was happy to see the other kids again. So much so that I didn't get my goodbye kiss before class started. I better get one tomorrow.

Based on updated info from Canine, my doppleganger is still ALIVE. Yes, "ALIVE". So... there was a minor inaccuracy in my first posting. Thus, I felt a need to adjust my name once more to further disassociate (yet still associate) myself with this man. Again, I've used the letter 'e' to change my username ever so slightly. To some, this may have been unnecessary, but to me, I had to do it. Let's see how long this one lasts...

OK, I'm on.

No, not "Noodles" or "Pasta Boy" or "Whitey Ford" or even "Luigi". I decided on going with "burt wolfe" because way back in the day, Lotus said I looked like this "late" cooking guy. Canine then reminded me of this in one of her blogs and it made me laugh. So here I am.

And before anyone says "Oh, but you spelled the last name wrong", I did it on purpose. I initially started with the real spelling but I felt kind of creepy using a dead guy's name. Adding the 'e' was the easiest thing for me to do.

Since I'm new to this "blogging" thing (and these new "technologies" frighten me), I'm keeping this first one short. I just needed a blog user in case I wanted to comment on some of the blogs that don't accept anonymous logons.

Chow.

(Get it? Cooking guy... "chow" instead of "ciao"?)